By Debi Buzil
A family reunion. My cousin is getting married. My little brother bought the plane tickets, and I was to send the gift. Holy Moly. Fast forward roughly 10 months. Our card, a little smudged and crumpled, is still on my desk. Don’t tell my brother. Oh, the newlyweds just had a baby? It’s been that long? What do I do? Make it stop.
I’ve spent hours fabricating stories about the situation. The gift didn’t arrive. I shopped for silver bowls and cake servers that I never ordered. Now the idea of gifts for the wedding and the baby seem paralyzing. I wake each morning with this on my mind, but I never send the gifts.
How can yoga help me stop avoiding the task and get back on track?
Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 2.8 says, “Aversion follows identification with painful experience (duhkhanusayi dvesha).” Dvesha is one of the five kleshas (obstacles) that keep us from moksha (freedom). Are you ruled by your aversions? Controlled by your avoidances? How can we stop suffering?
We cannot tame our external environment, but we can choose our response. Focus on your breath and find a centered place, free from fear and preconceived notions. Living in an anxious state detracts from the joy of being in the now. Memories of pain create dvesha, or avoidance of people and things we dislike. Anticipating these moments causes stress.
What do you find yourself resisting? Experiencing suffering is a way into new life skills and competence. Losing my mother. Negotiating a miscarriage. Moving through a broken heart. Embracing these difficult times has provided my most profound times of development and change. Meditation, chanting and asana have taught me that I am beyond my expectations and can exceed my limited range of knowledge.
Right action frees us up for more right action. I’ve sent a cake server and a check with the card. I’m now ready to apologize to my brother, tidy up some paperwork and straighten out a bad business deal. Looking at dvesha is liberation. My true nature can shine.
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